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I did it. I finished my first race after having a baby around five and half months ago. Finishing was the goal. Even though in mind I wanted to accomplish a new 15K PR, even though I wanted to finish with or before that awesome power walker who sped by me, even though I wanted to run with my pretty Monarch butterfly wings, I wanted most to finish and get my Midsummer Night's Run medal and get rained with kisses by my husband and my son on top of the raindrops that were sure to kiss me first.
This was the most difficult run I've had in a long time. I think it was just more exhausting overall. I had signed up to run this one in 2009, 30K actually, but then when I got news that I was expecting, I deferred it to 2010 and switched the distance to 15K because I knew I wouldn't have the time to train for the 30K. Back when I switched to 15K, I was in the early stages of pregnancy and had successfully finished a half-marathon in (personal) record time several months before, so 15K was nothing to me. I was ignorant of what my body would be like after having a baby.
Basically now, every time I run more than around 5k, my hips feel like they loosen back to the way they were just after I gave birth. They feel like they've expanded to allow a baby through and for a day or so after, my pelvic bones return back to their normal positions. And then it's time to go for a long run again...
I finished the 15K in 1 hour and 44 minutes. To me, that's a long time, but what's important is the word, "finished" in first sentence of this paragraph.
I got a cramp around 1K in and ran with it for a few more kilometres until my mind accepted that my body needed to slow down if I wanted to finish this race. So, I walked. Walking during a run is something I do not usually do. Once I stop, it becomes very challenging for me to start again, so my policy is Don't Stop Unless You Really Have To. I don't know how long I walked or how far, but I would say it was less than 500m. It felt like forever though. And then I thought of all the little kids with arthritis, all the little kids we were all running for. These cramps were nothing. Starting up again wasn't as difficult as it usually is...
Around 9K in, my foot felt like it was on fire. It was burning and it didn't feel like a blister infestation, it just felt like it was HOT. I wondered if this was what Athlete's Foot felt like or if this was what fellow runners talk about when their toenails fall off during a long run. (It was neither, thank God!) And then it felt numb. And then it hurt. What kept me going until I forgot about it was the foot rub I was going to ask my husband for when I was done.
At 13K-ish, my hips were ready to give birth to what felt like a 20-pound baby, fat, with a humongous head. "Just 2 more K to go, Treeh, just 2 more K. Hurry up, the Boys are waiting for you, in the rain. Go. GO. GOOOOOO!!" And so, instead of being distracted by my loosening hips, I looked down at the ground instead of ahead of me, and focussed on every single step I was taking. Each step had a purpose, and that purpose was to take me back to my boys. I soon saw the lights ahead of me bringing me back to civilization (I HATE the Leslie Spit).
As I approached the finish, I felt the sweat and rain getting into my eyes and my mouth (gross) and then I cried, but it wasn't just because of the sweat. I felt mentally and physically exhausted.
That was hard.
I wanted so badly to get back to my son and my husband that I almost swore off running forever. Almost. My body felt broken. I felt like if I was a wall, I had a BIG crack going almost all the way down me, almost all the way through me.
But then I saw my boys, the little one was dry and sleeping in his stroller under an umbrella, the big one under his hooded sweater, ready to hug me, crying sweaty wet mess and all. I was done.
I don't have any other post-run pics. Defeated, but look at my medal!
So now that that's over, I feel like I can say I've been there, survived, and I'm never going back again. And I have a 10K on Saturday morning. I can do it.